Final Draft- Memoir
Miguel Nunez
3/11/14
Mr. Engel
Memoir Personnal Writing
Being raised in
Orlando, Florida, made me more of an inner person because i barely had any
friends and the only thing i cared for and had passion for was my family and
baseball. I was not raised with my father in my life, so I always knew I had to
learn how to grow up and become a man in my own ways. Back at the time, I was
too little to know why was he not around but I always knew my mom gave us the
best she had so growing up it always felt like I had my complete parents with
just her in my life. One day, my mom came back from vacation in New York and
this encouraged her on wanting to move back there after 9 years from being away
from the place she was born and raised. So she decided on planning to move back
with my siblings and i and have a fresh start and see how things would be
different. There was nothing that was going to influence my mother of doing
not. At first, i was excited because it’s the big city a famous place on earth.
People always made it seem like New York was the greatest place to live in and
that nothing can go wrong in that city but i always knew there is not a city on
earth with no crime. But then it all hit more. I felt like i was losing oxygen
within me because i had so much going for me in baseball. I started to think
about how it was going to be, there were only 3 months of baseball in New York
and there are 6 to 8 Months down in Florida. That was a huge difference that
was going to change in my life. In Florida i was on an AAU team called the
Orlando Pythons and I was the starting 3rd basemen and batted 2nd
in the lineup. We were pretty good as a team. We always seemed to work
together. We always had the passion and love for the sport of baseball while in
little league. Baseball was always there for me when i needed something, it was
my staple while growing up. Packing and getting ready on the biggest move in my
life, literally, was so uncomfortable. I just felt like it was not normal to do
things like this. I started to give myself tips and a little head of advice on
our way out the door. It always felt to me that while i am growing up and
learning things on my own, i had to learn how to express myself to others and
to myself in other ways because baseball was not going to be there for me
anymore. Baseball was my backbone and leaving it behind in Florida just made me
feel more like an undead zombie. While on the Plane i knew that i was going to
have to be a new me, like a newborn baby. It was going to be a path to a
greater change. A change that will show me what I’m capable of and who i am
capable of being.
I really enjoyed reading this. Your memoir has a great meaning to it. It emphasizes the meaning of growing up. This memoir in particular shows how in your early days you had some difficulty in your life.
ReplyDeleteKarina was here! I like how deep your story is. I can relate to you on the whole parenting thing.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the story, the things that you are sharing are very personal, relatable, and true. There are some things that can make it better, but overall this story is great. I love it how you used methaphor in the last part when you said ''Leaving it behind in Florida just made me feel like an undead zombie''. That was great, it created images of my life of how you must feel, and comparing it to an undead zombie makes me understand it much better. Even though I loved this story, there are some things you can change. For example when you are saying I talking about yourself at the begining, you should put a uppercase I instead of lowercase. Also, theres a sentence where it doesnt make much sense, in the upper middle of the paragraph it says ''There was nothing that was going to influence my mother of doing not''. that doesnt really make much sense and you could probably change that. But overall, great story.
ReplyDeletewow it was very understanding reading this memoir. you made me imagine your situation in florida with your baseball team and how you had to leave and make new friends.there was a few grammer errors but overall was a very good piece to read
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story and bringing your story to heart. Your memoir does an excellent job of explaining what happened and how you felt through the whole ride. I also like in the end you explained how through the whole thing with being tied to Orlando that you give yourself a reflection and realizing how his experience changed you and what you have learned from it.
ReplyDeletei really liked this poem. it really good explaining of your whole trip.
ReplyDelete